


4 times Hilda Brought Home a Pet (And the Reason Nell Could Never Say No)

by Kitsune_Scribe



Category: Hilda the Plus-Size Pin-up Series - Duane Bryers
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Humor, I hope, N Things, and
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kitsune_Scribe/pseuds/Kitsune_Scribe
Summary: In a universe one to the left of ours, Hildegard Von Brandt is a popular pin-up model and Penelope Jane Swanson is her favorite photographer (and best gal). She also feels she's being very understanding about the menagerie that's slowly invading their outings and their home.
Relationships: Hilda (Hilda the Plus-Sized Pin-up Series)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 21
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	4 times Hilda Brought Home a Pet (And the Reason Nell Could Never Say No)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wiccy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wiccy/gifts).



**The Dog**

Hilda bringing Spot home from the Floradale Feed Mill calendar shoot wasn't a surprise. They had agreed to have Spot in several of the set pieces, and Hilda had spent a week before they got there knitting him a pair of long johns to match hers, but Nell still felt like that was the start of the animal parade because that was when Hilda got it into her head that having animals in photo sessions was a good thing. And not the exercise in patience and nearly destroyed equipment it really was. Sure some great photos happened whenever Hilda found a new animal to play with, but there was so much ruined film involved! Nell had taken so many shots that day where Hilda was absolutely in her element but poor Spot was scared of the camera. (November's photo was adorable, but you could tell Spot was worried about something, and Nell hoped it looked like it was Hilda's fashion sense, but Nell knew that he was still skittish after she had yelled when he almost knocked over her tripod.)

"Oh he's not afraid of you, jellyroll." Hilda said as she came up behind Nell as she stared pensively at the picture of Hilda buttoning the last button on the front of Spot's tiny red outfit. "He's trying to get you to let him out of those adorable little long johns." Her voice turned contemplative and she wrapped her arms around the thinner woman. "You know, I still haven't found them since we got back home."

"Spot stole them and hid them under his bed." Nell said leaning her dark head against Hilda's bright red curls.

"No, I looked there." 

"The one in the dark room he never uses because he doesn't like the smell of the chemicals." 

Hilda's nose wrinkled in sympathy, "Well that little scamp! He must really not have liked those britches to have braved the Stinky Room to hide them."

"The smell's not that bad." Nell said, shaking her head. "And how did you know I was thinking about that?"

"You're always worrying you get that wrinkle right between your eyes." Hilda said poking the spot in question. "And since the Flowerdial people loved their calendar and we got the money to fix up the pump out back, you had to be worrying about how Spot looked in the picture."

"It's not just the picture, it's how many have included animals since then," Nell said fanning out the rest of the pictures she was holding so Hilda could see them.

**The Cat**

Whiskers inclusion in the family was completely unplanned. One moment Hilda's trying out the stilts she borrowed from the circus that had pulled into town (her adorably homemade flour sack bikini undoubtedly had something to do with the tallest clown handing them over) and the next Spot's chasing a tiny tabby past Hilda at top speed sending her ass over teakettle and ensuring that anything Nell shot after that was completely unprintable outside of the blue magazines they weren't quite broke enough to sell to at the moment.

Nell let her camera fall around her neck as she grabbed for Spot hoping the cat would run off in the meantime.

"Oh look at how sweet she is!" Hilda exclaimed. She was somehow unscratched despite holding a yowling mass of claws while not quite wearing a rather skimpy bikini that had been straining to contain Hilda's ample assets even before her tumble. The bundle of noise and claws in her arms turned out to be a not quite full grown cat that had been attracted to the circus until she was spotted by Spot.

"Sweet isn't the word I'd use, Love." Nell said, backing away. "Look why don't you let her go back to what she was doing now that I've got Spot?"

"What? Let her go?" Somehow the cat was calming under her hands and she was petting down her back in long strokes despite the occasional growl. "Look at her, she's half starved."

"And probably covered in fleas." 

"Well that just means she needs a bath. Obviously Spot knew she needed a home and brought her to us."

"Spot saw a new toy and gave chase," Nell muttered under her breath.

"Oh come on, how can you say no to this face?" Hilda said, holding up the gray and white tabby. "Why, I bet even her whiskers are photogenic.

**The Ducks**

The ducks had been an impromptu decision, Hilda had been out watering the flower beds when she had called for Nell to bring her camera. Nell had to admit the 4 good shots she had gotten were playful, fun, fluffily adorable, even if they had taken 3 rolls of film full of blurry little duck butts.

Nell smiled indulgently from behind the camera at her girlfriend. Hilda was dressed in a ruffled red and white gingham bib-front outfit that was just as fetching as a romper as it had been an apron. She was holding a watering can and surrounded by a dozen ducklings and not a single one of them had a care in the world.

"Look at the little dears!" Hilda exclaimed as she poured water out of her can and onto their fuzzy heads. "They're just the cutest things I've ever seen!" 

Spot looked over at her and then moved to lay beside Nell with a huff. "Oh don't worry Spot, you know Hilda thinks every new thing is the cutest thing she's ever seen. She's not going to let them in to sleep on the bed." This last bit was pitched to reach Hilda's ears as well as the mother duck on the other side of the yard.

"Oh of course not, darling. They wouldn't like living inside and we'd have a hard time keeping Whiskers off them, you know she's almost as bad as I am when it comes to adoptions. But Snowy over there was asking if we minded them staying at our pond out back. Things are a bit crowded where they were staying and she's afraid the little ones won't get enough to eat. 

"A problem they surely won't have with you supplementing their diet with our morning toast." 

Hilda tutted disdainfully, "Bread's bad for them. But a bit of corn and oats wouldn't go amiss every once in a while."

Nell made a mental note to add dried corn and oats to their grocery order as she set aside her camera and went to embrace Hilda. "Not at all, and they are rather cute. I'd hate to think of them going hungry because we didn't let them stay."

**The Cow**

Nell still wasn't sure how she was talked into adopting the cow that Hilda had played with one afternoon when they were supposed to be doing the next installment of the Goddess for All Seasons series that Stream and Field had wanted to continue. 

Nell's eyes widened as Hilda walked up trailing a chocolate colored cow behind her "Oh, no. Absolutely not. We are not keeping a _cow."_ Nell said stomping her foot, and immediately feeling like a child trying to get her own way.

"But honey, how can you say that?" Hilda asked. "You saw how cute she was. You said yourself that the shots she was in were the best we've gotten all month," 

"I didn't say that so you'd go buy a cow off the farmer who's field we strayed into."

"Well I tried to get him to sign the waiver letting us use her shots, like you asked me to, and he was willing to sign the one about not minding us being on his property, but he said that poor Bessy was a nuisance, and shouldn't even have been in that field in the first place, and started making noises about the soup pot. And what was I supposed to do then?" Hilda asked. "Just leave her there with a murderous farmer? I had to bring her home!"

"How do you always manage to find not just a photogenic stray, but a photogenic stray in danger of meeting a dreadful end if we don't take them home?" Nell said. "And how in the world did you take a cow home in a roadster?"

Hilda cheered and dropped the rope she had been leading the cow with so she could throw her arms around Nell. "I knew you wouldn't really send her back. Don't worry I'm sure she'll earn her keep."

~~~

Nell did have to admit that the perplexed look on Hilda's face as she stared into the watering hose that Bessy was standing on was cute enough that even that fabric covered flower pot Hilda insisted on calling a hat couldn't detract from the picture Nell had gotten one day.

**The Squirrel That Started it All**

"How can you say you don't think taking pictures with our little friends is worth it? When Sylvester was in the very first picture you ever took of me?" Hilda said pointing to the framed picture that held pride of place above their cozy fireplace.

Hilda was upside down in the tree in her front yard trying to get the squirrel who lived there to stop teasing poor Spot when she heard the click whir of an automatic camera. She looked up, well down, and saw a striking youth in a maroon suit looking up at her. 

"Hello," she said, "Can I help you?"

Her visitor blushed and stammered out "Sorry to take your picture without asking, but that's an amazing pose." 

Hilda looked ~~down~~ up at herself, noticing for the first time that she was almost falling out of both the tree and her blue and white bandeau top. "Oh, I got so distracted talking to Sylvester I didn't even notice." Hilda grasped the branch harder and rolled forward so she could drop out of the tree. Then she turned to face her guest. 

Green eyes wide beneath dark delicate brows and pouty lips wide because of her open jaw, Hilda now saw that her visitor was a dark haired young woman in an impeccably tailored suit. "Hello! What brings you all the way out here?" Hilda asked.

Hilda's grin widened as Nell shook her head and forced her eyes back up to the face of the buxom beauty before her. "I'm sorry," Nell said again. "I was driving over to Greenville and my car broke down just around that bend," Nell gestured vaguely down the road, "I was hoping I'd find a house with a phone that I could borrow if I kept walking." 

Hilda seemed to glow for a moment. "So I can help! I've got a house, and also a phone you can use." Hilda waved her hands as if to say stay there, "Just let me grab my bike and we'll go call Jenkins over at the filling station to come look at your car. Sylvester be a dear and keep the lovely lady company while I grab my bike"

Nell looked confusedly between the squirrel, which was chittering politely, and the retreating figure. "Why would she need a bike to let me use her phone?" she found herself asking the squirrel. It chittered some more and - pointed down a path that led off away from both the house and the road? 

Hilda came back wheeling a pink bike with two seats and a basket on the front. She also had a brown splotched white terrier following her. "I hope you don't mind if Spot comes along, he likes exploring around the phone tree and he'll pout for the rest of the day if he doesn't get to come." 

"The phone tree?" Nell found herself asking. 

"Oh sure, the phone line follows the ridge-line through here and it was easier to just run a short line down to a tree just about between me and the next house over than it was to run lines all the way out to us. Plus that's one less bit of electronics to act up around me," Hilda said airily as she lifted Spot into the basket and climbed onto the bike. "I hope you have enough room back there. You don't seem very big but I know I take up a fair bit of room."

Nell gulped and climbed up behind Hilda trying to figure out where to put her hands. "Oh just go ahead and wrap your arms around me, the path's fairly smooth but it's been a bit since it was smoothed and there's a few bumps that're liable to knock you off if you don't have a good grip." She looked back over her shoulder and tossed Nell a wink, "Don't worry, I don't bite. Not on a first date anyway."

Well felt herself blush redder than Hilda's hair as she stammered "I- I don't think I've ever been on a date out to a phone." 

"First time for everything, sugar britches." Hilda said.

"It's Nell actually, well Penelope James Swanson, but Nell to my friends."

"Nell then." she could hear the grin in her voice. "I'm Hilda and it's very nice to meet you."

~~~

Nell blushed at the memory of that first ride and the evening that came after. "Well when you put it that way I guess I'm worrying about nothing."

"Nothing is the best thing to worry about," Hilda said decisively. "Because you can stop doing it at any time and it won't change a thing." She pulled the pictures out of Nell's hands and drew her down the hall towards the bedroom. "Now I came to find you because I got everyone bedded down already and I wanted to see if I could tempt you into turning in early." Hilda gave her a saucy smile, "I promise no animals in the bedroom tonight."

**Author's Note:**

> Pictures (Sorry a few of them are Facebook anonymity makes it hard to pick where you find your sources.)
> 
> Spot and Hilda in long johns: https://hilda-the-pinup.tumblr.com/image/184469792972  
> Hilda's adventure on stilts: https://hilda-the-pinup.tumblr.com/image/185828269534  
> Hilda watering the ducks: https://www.facebook.com/BBW-162028520476747/photos/a.653547017991559/2151292388217007/  
> Hilda's cow: https://hilda-the-pinup.tumblr.com/post/184794276504/the-only-corrida-ill-tolerate  
> And the cow helping Hilda water: https://hilda-the-pinup.tumblr.com/post/184562455090  
> Hilda and the squirrel: https://www.facebook.com/BBW-162028520476747/photos/a.653547017991559/653549881324606/  
> The phone tree: https://www.facebook.com/BBW-162028520476747/photos/a.653547017991559/653565507989710/


End file.
